I divorced at 30 and just quit my job to travel! I’ve found a lot of community here on Substack.
Loved your beautiful Longreads piece. I think people expect divorce to be so hateful. They often look for an easy explanation. Of course it’s devastatingly painful but it can also be beautiful to separate in peace and appreciation for each other.
So glad to connect with you! And congrats on your sabbatical! I love hearing about those shared experiences and the community you’ve found here. Just subscribed to your Substack too. I’d love your suggestions for who else to follow! 💞
Elle Griffin is on sabbatical, Liz McCrocklin writes beautiful essays on divorce, being childfree, living authentically (“a true life built” is the name of her Substack) and anything from Paul Millerd and the Pathless Path crew!!
We had two couple friends go through a similar experience during the pandemic- one stayed together and the other divorced. I sent them your story and one person pulled this quote as incredibly resonant:
“He never hid it from me. That surprises people. They ask, “Did you have any idea?” They imagine me walking in on him gazing into a full-length mirror, dressed in my clothes. They imagine the screaming, weeping, gnashing of teeth. But it wasn’t like that. As soon as he found the words, he laid them at my feet.”
Your writing is just beautiful — but as a trans person, I think your ex might be ashamed to read this. She sounds like a man for most of the piece, alongside (true) observations about how traditional womanhood denies many women autonomy. I understand that your ex lived as a man back then, and was thought of as a man, but for most of the piece I thought she was just a man with a cross-dressing fetish — not in the end a trans woman. It was an interesting exercise, but may also be misrepresenting someone trans, which bothered me. Not sure if that makes sense, but have a good day.
I divorced at 30 and just quit my job to travel! I’ve found a lot of community here on Substack.
Loved your beautiful Longreads piece. I think people expect divorce to be so hateful. They often look for an easy explanation. Of course it’s devastatingly painful but it can also be beautiful to separate in peace and appreciation for each other.
So glad to connect with you! And congrats on your sabbatical! I love hearing about those shared experiences and the community you’ve found here. Just subscribed to your Substack too. I’d love your suggestions for who else to follow! 💞
Elle Griffin is on sabbatical, Liz McCrocklin writes beautiful essays on divorce, being childfree, living authentically (“a true life built” is the name of her Substack) and anything from Paul Millerd and the Pathless Path crew!!
We had two couple friends go through a similar experience during the pandemic- one stayed together and the other divorced. I sent them your story and one person pulled this quote as incredibly resonant:
“He never hid it from me. That surprises people. They ask, “Did you have any idea?” They imagine me walking in on him gazing into a full-length mirror, dressed in my clothes. They imagine the screaming, weeping, gnashing of teeth. But it wasn’t like that. As soon as he found the words, he laid them at my feet.”
Beautifully written.
Thank you so much for sharing this! Hearing that it resonates with folks who have had similar experiences means the world to me.
Your writing is just beautiful — but as a trans person, I think your ex might be ashamed to read this. She sounds like a man for most of the piece, alongside (true) observations about how traditional womanhood denies many women autonomy. I understand that your ex lived as a man back then, and was thought of as a man, but for most of the piece I thought she was just a man with a cross-dressing fetish — not in the end a trans woman. It was an interesting exercise, but may also be misrepresenting someone trans, which bothered me. Not sure if that makes sense, but have a good day.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼